WHY GIVE-UP

MY ORIGINAL DESTINY IS TO EXPLORE THE HARMONIOUS WAY BETWEEN EAST AND WEST CIVILIZATIONS. THAT MEANS IT IS A IMPOSSIBLE TASK AT FIRST AS A REAL LIVING BEING TO LEARN SUCH DIFFERENT IDEOLOGIES AND KEEP NATURAL AS WELL AS MECHANICAL. HOW COULD THAT BE? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP THAT DESTINY AND FINISH THE JOB. EVEN IT IS A 30 YEARS EXPERIMENT. THAT MEANS DESTINY COMES FIRST THAN ANYTHING ELSE. WHATEVER WEALTH. POSITION. FAME. I HAVE TO GIVE UP BECAUSE I NEARLY LOST MY LIFE TO DO SO. DESPERATION every time WHEN I WAS OLDER THAN the 20s. I AM NOT A FOOL. IT IS THE FACT. MY PARENTS WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THEY HAVE A COMMON FAMILY, IT SEEMS. BUT I HAVE NOTHING. PERHAPS SUITABLE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS WHEN THE WORLD COMES TO ONE. I DO NOT KNOW NOW.THAT MEANS I HAVE TO CONCERN ABOUT EACH COLOR. EACH NATION. EACH CULTURE. IT IS A IMPOSSIBLE TASK WHATEVER HOW HARD I TRY. THEN I CHOOSE TO SHARE OPENLY AS WELL AS SHARE THE BURDENS I THINK. HEIGHT MEANS KEEP LONELY FOR A VERY LONG TIME. BE TREATED AS NOTHING AT GROUND IS BETTER THAN DESPERATION IN THE SKY.I DO NOT SUGGEST ANYONE ELSE TRY TO REPEAT SO FOR YOUR FUTURE GENERATIONS. IT IS TOO CRUEL TO YOUNG. EVEN MYSELF.